How to heal body image (the PROVEN way)
If you've been at war with your body image for more years than you can count, spent decades trying every tip, trick, and fad just to stop obsessing over every inch of your body, but nothings has seemed to work?
Whew, you’re so not alone! And this post is exactly for YOU. 👀
In today’s conversation, we’re unpacking two different approaches to improving body image and explaining why the second, less-known option might be your secret weapon. So, ready to dive in?
👉 By the way, if you need support to get through the most triggering “bad body image” days (e.g. social events , when comparison creeps in or when clothes don’t fit), grab the FREE Body Image Emergency Toolkit! that will help you through those moments!
Why “Let's-Change-The-Body” (Option One) Doesn’t Work
First of all, I need to say this.
It makes SO MUCH SENSE WHY “changing your body” in order to “love how it looks” can FEEL like the solution to your body image struggles.
But there are TWO traps to this method.
ONE: no matter what you do, you don’t have full control over your body size. Factors like genetics, environment, and stress levels all come into play, meaning even if we all ate and lived the same way, we’d still all look different!
TWO: Body image isn't about how “big” or “small” your body is. (If this was the case, everyone in a small body would have great body image and everyone in a larger body would not. But I can tell you that half of my clients are in “normal” or “small” bodies by Diet Culture’s standards, but STILL struggle with their body image.
This is because body image is about how YOU perceive your OWN BODY, meaning it is SO SUBJECTIVE!
And SO many women are actually seeing their own body through a sort of distorted filter that says “My body is NOT good enough. I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH.”
Remember a time when you hated your body, but years later, looking back at pictures, thought you looked great? That’s the distortion talking.
Enter Option Two: Feel Good, Inside and Out
So, if Option One doesn't work, what's the alternative? Glad you asked! Option Two is all about feeling both physically and emotionally good.
Feeling good PHYSICALLY in your body.
It's impossible to feel good ABOUT your body when you don’t feel good IN your body.
When you’re hungry or depriving yourself, exercise feels punishing, and stress is ignored, your body becomes the scapegoat for all your unhappiness. One way to combat this is by prioritizing self-care. Think of treating yourself to nourishing foods, rest, and movement that you actually enjoy. It’s about wearing clothes that fit comfortably and tackling stress head-on. By doing this, you’re not just telling yourself that you matter, you’re showing it!
Because we TAKE CARE of things that we value. And when you TAKE CARE of your body’s needs, you’re subconsciously sending your brain the message that “YOU ARE WORTHY.”
And by MEETING your body’s needs and feeling GOOD in it more and more, you create a positive cycle where: You feel good ➡️ You do MORE self-care ➡️ You (and your body) feels more valued, and so on!
Feeling good EMOTIONALLY in your life!
And here’s a fun twist: improving body image doesn’t have to involve your body at all.
Imagine bringing so much joy, delight, pleasure into your life that you fall in love with living! Cultivate pleasure just because—get back into those hobbies, spend time with friends, relax, dance. Whatever brings you joy, do more of THAT.
My clients, especially those in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, often resist this idea, equating joy with self-indulgence. But isn’t it worth asking where that belief came from? Our culture often teaches us to hustle or help others first (especially as women!), yet neglected needs and desires can lead to blaming our body for why you feel so dissatisfied. But as soon as we begin “indulging” things we’ve long denied, life gets sweeter, more enriching, more invigorating, and when you’re SO BUSY living and enjoying your life, it’s hard for the “body, body, body” to continue to be your focus and obsession!
Your NEW body image healing path
So start small, listen to what your heart (and not your anxious body-focused mind) wants. And watch how your relationship with your body transforms when you fill your life with delight instead of deprivation. (And watch the full video for more examples and tips!)
Interested in furthering this journey?
➡️ If you’re curious about diving in deeper or working with me one-on-one, “YOU, EMBODIED” 1-1 coaching program could be for you! This is where I become your guide, teacher, and partner to walk alongside you to reach your most healthful and happy relationship with food, body and yourself. 💖
Thanks for reading to the end.
Remember: you, exactly as you are, are worthy of love and care.
xo,
Mya